Explanation

The one question that has haunted me since David passed away is WHY?
I ask myself that a couple times everyday. I have been offered many different explanations by people, just trying to help. Most of the time people just say the Lord has a plan. I know he has a plan but that doesn't explain anything.

My husband and I went to a concert the other night. The Rock and Worship concert. They had many different christian bands there with great messages but the message that touched me the most was by Bart Millard. He is the lead singer of MercyMe. If you haven't heard their music you should listen to them. Very uplifting. He had said that this year was a tough year for him, they had lost someone in their family. he said he questioned God quite a bit on this. He kept asking Why Lord. He said the Lord told him "The healing is not in the explanation it's through me."

This is so true. Even if I knew why David was taken from me, it won't make the pain go away. Even if I had an explanation I won't heal any faster. I can only heal through the Lord, with time.

A few days ago I went to the kidney doctor. I still had traces of protein in my body which is abnormal. so my regular doctor sent me to a kidney specialist to rule out anything being wrong. The doctor was an older Indian gentleman, who was a very interesting fellow. He asked me how much David weighed when he was born and I said 1 Ib 9 oz. He then asked how he was doing (He didn't know he had passed away). I told him, and he said he was sorry. Then he went on to say "To bring you a little bit of comfort he wouldn't have been normal." Which I wouldn't say that really brought me any comfort but atleast he tried. He was the only person who has said David wouldn't have been normal. I'm sure he was judging soley on his birth weight. But he made a good point. We just don't know. Maybe the Lord took David because he knew he would have problems here on earth. I'm not sure. I'm not positive that I even want to know. But to me, David was perfect. And it wouldn't have mattered if anything was wrong with him anyway, because I would love him no matter what.

I may never know why David was taken from me so soon. But like the Lord said, the healing is not in the explanation. I just have to know the Lord has my back and always will.